Everything Ends

All things follow a cycle: creation, maintenance and dissolution.  Nothing is exempt from ending.  Everything ends.  When we allow ourselves to honor this phase of the cycle, we free ourselves from the burden and impossibility of attempting to control everything, and we open the doorway to newness.  We allow our lives to evolve, improve, refine and expand.  When we deny destruction as a necessary phase of life, we are saying no to change and growth and possibility.  But letting go isn't easy.  We hold fast to the things that we imagine to be essential, that we cling to for comfort, that we think will make us happy.

So many women that we talk to say things like, "I want to go back to how I looked 5 (or 10 or 20) years ago.  I want my body and my life to be how it was before."  But we can never go back.  And thank goodness.  If we are constantly trying to go back, we can never really appreciate or enjoy our current circumstances, and we can never welcome improved or simply different versions of ourselves.  We can never fully love ourselves. When we cling to an image of our past selves, thinking a return to that way of being/looking will make us happy, we immediately limit our capacity for happiness, not to mention our capacity for presence and our openness to new possibilities.  We are saying no to the natural cycle of all things.  We are resisting life.

I created the art piece pictured above prior to joining on with Tara for Love Body.  It was something I envisioned as a symbol for my business.  I jokingly called it "The Center for Circular Living and Comfort with Uncertainty" or CCCU for short.  I intended to help women embrace and navigate the natural cyclical nature of life and all of the uncertainty that arises within that.  And in a way, that's what we're doing. 

No one knows what the future holds; but, we do know what is holding us back.  And we can courageously release those things and allow the dissolution phase of life to do its natural work.  We're here to help you with that process.  Whether or not you can join us for More Love: The Yoga of Letting Go, we are here to support you in your beautiful and ongoing circle of creation, maintenance and dissolution.     

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Hidden amongst the pages of a mediocre murder mystery that I downloaded onto my kindle for free was this gem of a phrase: "You have to make yourself whole.  No one else can."  This is Love Body.  We don't need anyone else to tell us that we're ok.  We don't need anyone else to tell us that we're enough.  No one else can give us the experience of loving ourselves; we must return to it on our own.  Even if our loved ones tell us over and over that we are good/beautiful/loved, it's not the same as actually feeling it.  Even knowing it is not the same as feeling it.  We can know it intellectually, but if it hasn't become integrated into our being, it's as if it's not true.

How do we go about returning to wholeness?  It's not as if we were ever un-whole, we just got pulled out of the experience of wholeness.  We carry so many false beliefs about ourselves and our bodies around with us every day.  We have so many narratives about our worth and our capabilities and our lives and our identities that run through our minds over and over.  How do we start to unwrite, unravel, unbelieve? 

Try this simple exercise: Throughout the day, notice all of the negative things that you say about yourself and actually write them down.  It might be a bit shocking and sad, but write them all down.  At the end of the day, go through each one and ask yourself, "Do I actually believe this about myself?  Is this true?"  You can erase and cross out things that are simply untrue, a first step in letting go.  Then, next to or under each one, write down a compassionate statement, a little bit of kindness and understanding and acceptance of yourself.

Real example from my life:
"I'm a shitty person because I didn't get enough done today.  I'm wasting my whole life."  Do I believe this?  No.  Next to it, I write.  I'm struggling with being super productive for a variety of reasons, including global pandemic and what I did today is enough.  And the amount I produce has nothing to do with my worth as a human.  Everyone struggles.  Everyone's worth is inherent.
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This is just a start.  To fully release the beliefs that leave us feeling less than whole and to restore our sense of fullness and enoughness, we have to take it into the body.  We must embody the release, acceptance, intergration and wholeness.  That's what we'll be doing next week.  I hope you can join us for More Love: The Yoga of Letting Go.

We'll keep sending little bits like this to support your journey of restoring wholeness.     
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Looking ahead also means letting go...

For the last several days, I've been having visions about the future of Love Body, imagining new ways that we can effectively and authentically support you in finding more love for yourself, your body, and the people and world around you, and to enjoy all of those things to their full capacity.  As always, transformation, change and moving forward also means letting go.  And it's time to do just that.

Each one of us has our own blockages, barriers and binds.  Each one of us is "addicted" to a certain way of being.  Each one of us has things that we do that once served or comforted us in some way, but now those things are either completely unnecessary or they are straight up holding us back.  It took me years to realize that I was actually addicted to suffering, that it was comfortable and familiar to me, and that happiness and success was the thing that was actually frightening me.  When I allowed myself to release suffering as a way of being, I could embrace my fear of success and move forward.   

I bet at least one or two things came to mind when you read the subject line, "what is holding you back?".  And I'm willing to bet, with some honest investigation and self-reflection, you may discover one or two more.  But what do you do with all of that?  That's where we come in.  Letting go is a process.  Moving forward with more love is a process.  And we developed a beautiful practice for assisting you with those processes.  

Please consider joining us for More Love: The Yoga of Letting Go.

And if you can't join us this time, no worries.  We will continue to be here for you each week, and we will definitely invite you to join us for our newly visioned offerings as they coalesce.

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Set yourself free.  This is the tagline for Love Body.  What are you freeing yourself from?  Anything that is blocking you from experiencing your deep and endless capacity for love, love for yourself and love for others.  Blocks and barriers come in a variety of forms: negative self-talk, negative body-image, perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being enough.  Sometimes it's a single experience or interaction with someone else that we can't seem to let go of, something that we've allowed to define us, our value, our worth.

The truth is, we are always free, no matter what our external circumstances may be.  But that doesn't mean we can feel it, live it, experience it.  We have to do the work to clear the blockages and barriers.  We have to allow the process of letting go to happen.  But it is work and it is a process.  It's not just something you say and poof, it magically happens.  

We're here to support you in the process of letting go, which inevitably involves acceptance and integration.  We are offering a beautiful, physical practice to help facilitate these processes and it's happening in just a few weeks.  Please consider joining us for More Love: The Yoga of Letting Go.

Here's a sneak peek at one of the practices:

This is granthi mudra.  The Sanskrit word granthi means knot or doubt or an especially difficult knot to untie.  Place your hands in this mudra and set them on an area of your body that feels like it has a blockage, maybe your throat if you feel a barrier in speaking your truth, maybe your heart if you feel there is a wall around it.  Place your hands there, take a few breaths and imagine the internal stuckness, the internal knot starting to slowly unravel, allowing more light to flow through you.

We're here to guide you on your journey of love, in meeting each day with freshness and allowing life to carry you to a new and beautiful place.

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Today was the first day back to teaching in person.  Sun was streaming in through the studio's huge windows and Katie, my student pictured above, was literally glowing.  It was a beautiful class, and so wonderful to see real humans practicing together, on mats six feet apart of course.

This morning was a good morning, but the past few days have been rough.  When I find myself in a rough spot, I check in with the three things that make up my personal manifesto:

1) Eat Real Food
2) Move Your Body
3) Connect with Source

When I'm feeling off, one of these three things is invariably missing.  I pick it back up and things start to get better.  These are three simple ways to show yourself love every, single day.  Tara posts a "Try it Tuesday" on facebook every week with fun, real foods to explore and experiment with.  You can move your body in a million different ways, and you're always welcome to move with me in a yoga class at Table Health (or virtually if you're still wary about in-person stuff; we're offering both options for each class).  And you can connect with source in any way that touches your soul: a walk in nature, praying, free meditation with me on Wednesdays at 10am.  Show yourself love every day, especially when things feel off, especially when there is so much non-love happening in the world.  Love is always available.  We just have to choose to open to it.

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I love this message pictured above on the tea bag.  It's a beautiful statement and a wonderful way to look at life.  But something very important is missing.  How do you actually do that?  How do you know yourself?  How do you love, trust and be yourself?  By what means?  

The answer is extraordinarily simple, and you'll hear me say it over and over again.  It's the thing that supports all other things.  It's the thing that yields transformation in all arenas of life.  It's the thing that offers true knowing, the purest and deepest love, absolute trust and the ability to just be.  It is the thing that takes the message above and makes it real for us, a real, living experience.  Simply asserting something does not make it true for us.  But this will.  Here it is...

Meditate.

That's it.  This is the absolute foundation of all of the other Love Body practices.  It is a practical tool used to support and enrich all aspects of life, enhancing and expanding the benefical, positive aspects and softening or transforming the negative aspects.  It is not simply a relaxation or stress-reduction technique, but rather, a deep dive into the source of our wisdom, creativity and realness, which we then bring to the surface of life, infusing our lives with richness.  It fundamentally changes the way that we engage with ourselves, with others, and with the world around us, bringing more joy and freedom to everything that we do.

Not sure where to start?  Join me for free meditation Wednesdays at 10am on zoom for a limited time.  This series is hosted by the Traverse Area District Library.  

Wishing you the best, and know that we are here for you.

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Finding a sense of comfort and ease in your body may seem unattainable, but it starts with a simple breath.  This breath brings us back to ourselves.  In order to feel at home, we must first enter home.  We must step across the threshold.  We must inhabit our bodies, be in our bodies, live in our bodies, and being with the breath is the fastest way to re-embody ourselves.

For the last 5 years, I have been on a search for home, attempting to discover what home really means, and I've realized that it starts with feeling at home in my own body.  This means knowing that I am ok, knowing that what I want/feel/think/do is ok, knowing that through all the ups and downs, all the discomforts, joys and challenges, I am ok.  I am wrapped in a safe, welcoming, comforting abode: my own body.  I just have to choose to live there.

Feeling at home in your body is a return back to the innocence and naturalness of embodiment as a child.  These are my nieces pictured above.  They are not thinking about what their bodies look like.  They are not detached from their sensory experience.  They are in it.  They are living in their bodies, fully.  

So, back to that breath.  Sit or stand.  Feel your connection to the ground.  Feel your body breathing itself.  Natural, effortless breath.  Feel the natural movements of your body as your breathe.  You are not doing it.  It is happening on its own.  Enjoy your body breathing itself.  Enjoy coming home, to yourself.  

As always, we are here to offer you a variety of practical tools for finding love for your body and showing love to your body.  This Thursday, in our More Love virtual class, we're offering some useful practices for gracefully meeting this uncertainty that we're all facing together, finding some comfort in not knowing, and moving forward with loving choices for our bodies.

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The wear and tear on the body which accumulates as an individual is exposed to repeated or chronic stress is called allostatic load.  Each day, whether we register it consciously or not, our brains are dealing with the anxiety and strain of the pandemic.  As a result, you may find yourself feeling exhausted, not because your body is working hard, but because your brain is.  This can also make it more difficult to use your brain for other stuff, like being creative, making decisions, reading basic instructions, writing a grant proposal or getting your newsletter out on time (yes, these are specific to me).

Luckily, there are things we can do to support the nervous system during this stressful time.  Somatics exercises are one of my favorite.  They have a naturally soothing effect on the nervous system, while also serving to release chronic muscular tension, relieve chronic pain and improve posture and movement.  In the image above, I am doing my absolute favorite exercise.  This is my go-to for calming the F down, pandemic or not.

Check Love Body's facebook page on Thursday for a sneak peek video of my favorite somatics exercise.  This, as well as our favorite mindfulness practices, nourishing foods for mental resilience, gentle restorative yoga and a simple daily meditation practice will be included in our upcoming virtual offering.  We hope you can join us.  We want to support you in enjoying health and brain foglessness during this strange and potent time.

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Tara and I got together for some 6-feet-apart playtime last Friday.  We climbed and cartwheeled and ran and leapt.  It was delightful and nourishing and I can't wait to do it again.  

Joyful movement is one of the three pillars of Love Body.  Simply put, it means moving with the intention of enjoying yourself.  The main motivation for the movement is joy.  As a side effect, you may experience changes in your physical appearance and greater health, but the impetus is joy.  It is a reframe, a shift in mindset around exercise and workouts.

Typically, we approach exercise and workouts with the intention of changing our health or changing our bodies.  Joyful movement places enjoyment first.  We have so many choices regarding how we move our bodies.  Choose the ways that feel good to you, the kinds of movement that uplift your spirit, awaken your sense of vitality and leave you feeling awe-inspired by the capacity of the human body.  Even if you are limited in your capacity to move, joyful movement is still available to you.  You still have choices.  What will you choose?

Dancing and yoga and outdoor frolicking are my favorites.  Tara loves GoNoodle dancing with the kids, lifting weights because it makes her feel strong and empowered and short cardio bursts because it gives here an energy boost.  There are so many possibilities.  We wish you the utmost joy in moving your body.   

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"We tend to be extremely uncomfortable until things are resolved in some kind of secure and comforting way, either on the side of yes or the side of no." -Pema Chodron

This is the 36th day of quarantine in the state of Michigan.  Several times throughout the course of these 36 days, I've found myself waiting for everything to be resolved so that I can relax, return to "normal", move forward with life.  And then I realized, if I'm waiting for resolution, I could be waiting for a very. long. time. 

It is natural to feel some level of discomfort in the midst of this crazy situation;  however, the discomfort is no different from that which we've experienced throughout our entire lives.  And, as always, we have a choice.  How will we meet that discomfort?  Will we even allow ourselves to meet it or will we attempt to resist, withdraw or distract?

When we allow ourselves to embrace the uncertainty of the situation, in other words, when we say, "This is how it is right now.  This is my life right now.  I accept that I have no clue what is going to happen.", we automatically create a circumstance in which discomfort can begin to soften, perhaps even to dissolve.  From that new space, we can move forward with life.  We don't have to wait for the end of quarantine to exhale.  

We always have the opportunity to deepen and enrich our relationship with ourselves, but especially now.  How will we choose to relate to our own discomfort?  Will we embrace uncertainty?  Will we meet life as it is right now and move forward, making choices rooted in love?

Finding comfort with uncertainty isn't easy.  There are tools that can be used to make it seem more doable.  To support you in this endeavor, we created More Love: Finding comfort with uncertainty.  It is a virtual class taking place on May 21st and we'd be delighted to have you join us. 

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